January Sales

It’s SALE time! Traffic is murder and those shops that you normally browse at your leisure are rammed to the gills with eager bargain hunters who, having been so restrained during the previous credit crunch months, are now chomping at the bit to find themselves a treat or seven! And believe me, there are bargains to be had… it’s just a case of knowing where to look!

I had a wonderful burst in one of my all time favourite high street stores yesterday – Karen Millen! I was in a hurry and hunting for the perfect dinner dress – not too dressy but smart enough to make me feel like a princess – to wear that evening! (Nothing like a last minute panic to throw you at the mercy of the rampaging crowds!) Trawling through the rails, my eyes were constantly distracted by all sorts of wonderful bargains and I found myself wondering if my poor credit card could take another hit.

Not only is Karen Millen a one-stop shop for evening / party wear but it’s fabulous for those key pieces of office and day wear. My eye was caught several times by stunning little pencil skirts with little kicks at the back – oh so flattering and they make your bum look fantastic - and shirts with all the detailing of the season – ruffles, fabulous cuffs and buttons to die for!

Despite discreetly slipping a pencil skirt in amongst my ever-increasing pile of clothes to try on, restraint got the better of me. As I passed rail by rail of beautifully tailored clothing, I decided to settle on a key piece from this season that I hadn’t invested in previously. My wardrobes are rammed with dresses in every style but there is very little colour variety. Apart from a totally impractical yellow dress (utterly OTT) that I simply fell in love with and had to have, most of my LBDs are just that… BLACK! No, I wanted something to stand out from the crowd that could be worn time after time without feeling like I was trussed up like a turkey. Could I do bold yet understated.

And then my eyes settled on it… the perfect little number… a beautifully, yet simply cut little purple shift dress. The dress itself was figure hugging but loose enough to skim over those hips of mine. The length was perfect – neither too short or so long that I would be stopped by the fashion police. Really, it was just waiting for me to snap it up.

A quick trip to the changing room later, where items were quickly discarded – too big, too small, too grey, too sack-like – and my purple number was my new best friend… not to mention the shoes that the assistant cunningly slipped under my door! (It would have been rude to refuse – especially at THAT price!). Yes, I felt like a princess!

What became of the pencil skirt I hear you cry? Sadly, it was not to be! That was definitely not a match made in heaven! Despite the immaculate tailoring, I felt like I had a big arrow pointing straight to my saddlebags shouting “look at me”. NOT a good look! I am sure Visa will thank me in the long run!

DOES MY BUM LOOK BIG IN *THIS*?

Ladies, Ladies, never mind your bum! When was the last time you had your bra properly fitted? Would you believe that according to professional bra fitters, over 60% of British women are regularly wearing the wrong size bra!

Do you have any idea what this is doing to your figures? Worried about a tummy? Did you know that wearing a good bra will immediately lift everything up, smoothing out those bulges and do wonders for your silhouette?

A professional bra fitting needn’t be painful. For starters, a fitting should be a free service so don’t be conned into paying for it. Whilst M&S are great for pretty basics such as knickers, tights and socks, I am yet to be convinced by their bras or the fitting service. I would always recommend you go to a specialist bra shop, such as Rigby and Peller or one of the larger department stores such as House of Fraser, Selfridges or a good Debenhams with a dedicated department with trained staff and a range of stock for all different shapes and sizes. A word of warning: don’t let someone encourage you into a bra you don’t feel comfortable in simply because they don’t have the stock!

A good bra fitter will instantly put you at your ease and in the long run will save you a fortune on buying bras that do nothing for you other than brighten your underwear drawer!



So what should you be buying? Whilst lacy bras are great for making you feel sexy in the evenings, every woman should have a good t-shirt bra for everyday wear. It might not look the prettiest but a skin coloured bra will work wonders under most tops.



And lastly… if that bum really does worry you, why not take a leaf out of Bridget Jones’ book and invest in some control undies? They needn’t be torture… there’s lots of shapes and fabrics to choose from. A good alternative would be M&S’ control tights – perfect for maintaining a sleek silhouette under that clingy skirt or dress… It’ll even smooth a tummy if the bra hasn’t done as much as you would have liked!

Credit Crunch Shopping

Credit crunch, credit crunch… I don’t know about you but I have stopped watching the evening news and buying the paper along with my morning coffee… it’s all too repetitive and somewhat scary! There’s credit crunch lunch, credit crunch cars and you’ve guessed it, there’s credit crunch shopping!

With the current economic slow down I find that my clients are increasingly concerned about how they are spending their hard-earned cash. They’ve taken a good hard look at their finances and all unnecessary fripperies are being culled. Not only that but they are also increasingly aware of fair trade products and want to know where their clothes are coming from, who’s making them and whether or not they’ll be added to a scrap heap after a few washes because they’ve fallen apart or the dyes have faded.

With all the wonderful new clothes hitting the high street and the long awaited opening of Cabot Circus what’s a girl to do with her tighter budget? Take it from a Stylist, you can still look great this season and pay the mortgage! You just have to follow a few simple rules.

Credit Crunch Shopping is not quite the same as investment buying but it runs along the same principle. Buy clothes that will last and that work with your existing wardrobe. You don’t have to follow a trend right down to the last accessory. It’s about looking in your wardrobe and digging out those faithful black trousers that have seen you through the cold winters and updating them with a few key accessories… and this season is perfect for that!

Although colours for the coming Autumn are rather muted (to suit the current economic climate, some have wondered) the season is full of wonderful items that when teamed with last year’s coat, jacket or tops, will immediately bring them up to date and ready for Autumn 08.

Black patent is making a comeback after it’s rapturous reception last year. Update last season’s black patent shoes with a matching handbag or invest in the new pointier wedges… Think detail – buckles, straps and height!

If you only buy one thing this season, have a look at a new coat. Let’s face it, it’s the perfect weather for wrapping up warm and if you start early you’ll have the pick of all the new ranges.

Big necklaces and jewellery are also a key look for the season and that plain black jumper will look fantastic with some bold and bright jewels at the neckline. If you’re feeling naughty what about picking up an oversize clutch in a matching jewel shade. There are going to be hundreds to choose from and they’re fab for taking an outfit from day to night.

If you’re looking at your casual wardrobe, think about teaming three bold bangles with one of the new ruffled tartan blouses (available in every price range) and a pair of the fab new shoe boots to give your favourite jeans look a bit of a boost.

You really don’t need to spend the earth to look good this season. All the big designers are very aware that people aren’t going to be shelling out for the big lux items as they might have done last season. If you’re looking for a treat have a peek at their smaller secondary labels for some trend inspired hints of luxury with a smaller price tag. And remember, if you need help spending wisely, there’s always a helpful stylist out there to guide you along! www.parlance.co.uk

Does my bum look big in this?

Image. It’s all about image and presentation. But why do British women (or so many women in general) hate the way they look? What is it in us that makes us so full of self-loathing and personal criticism. Honestly, with friends like ourselves, who needs enemies?

As a personal stylist, I see everything… so many different shapes and sizes, colours and textures, lumps and bumps; no woman is the same. But there is one constant: the complete and utter dissatisfaction with how we look. Men don’t seem to suffer from it in the same way. Yes, there are the odd few that have a crisis of confidence every now and again but so many of my male clients come with an innate (dare I say, overblown) sense of their own worth and looks. Why are women so different?

I find it deeply upsetting seeing how miserable women can make themselves with the passing of every mirror or shop window holding an opportunity to shame themselves a little bit further, to give themselves another emotional battering at the extra curve on the hip, or the slightest sense if a bulge on the tummy. Rarely do I meet a woman who looks in the mirror and actually likes what she sees – it’s as though all that is wrong blinds her to anything that could possibly be right.

So few women seem to appreciate what they have or value anything about themselves – and what’s worse is they then feel the need to point it out to those around them, further adding to the battering they give themselves.

A dear friend of mine recently got married and as one of the (six) bridesmaids we all went away for a week’s pre-wedding sun, sand, sea and pampering. We had a wonderful week – full of late night laughter of a bottle or four of wine, long drawn out meals cooked from fresh ingredients found at the local supermarket and hours spent lounging at the side of crystal clear blue waters. But one thing stands out for me: the varying moments of crisis and despair as we prepared to go out for an evening or a special day trip, with every girl having a point when they thought their own wardrobe completely unsuitable. Not one of these girls balked at wearing a bikini but every single one had a crisis when it came to putting on something special.

The other noticeable element was how few of these, very good-looking girls had ever spent any time pampering themselves. Throughout the holiday, as they gained confidence one of the girls would ask me to do their make up or show them how to do their nails. They hadn’t realised how simple it was and had shied away from all these from experimenting for fear of getting it wrong.

On the night before the wedding, we all gathered at the chief bridesmaids house for nibbles and beauty preparation. One by one nails were manicured and feet painted. I thought this was all part of a girl’s weekly routine… little did I realise that for them it was a complete novelty.

What amazed me the most was how little it took to bolster these girls’ confidence. A few kind words and a bit of encouragement and they were on their way with big smiles… that was all it took. Spending an evening in washing your hair has always been a bit of a joke in England. An excuse for copping out of a date… but it can make such a difference to feeling good. Every one of the girls I met said they were going to spend time grooming and pampering from now on. I wonder how many of them stuck to it.

One final thing. Men, please take note. When your partner is asking you how she looks, she doesn’t want to be told that yes, her bum does look big! She needs stroking… just like you do. Tell her she looks great a couple of times she might even start to believe it and act it. She’s looking for your approval. The one thing that is utterly clear to me now is that in order to feel great women need to feel valued – it goes a long way to killing that self-loathing.

“Romeo, Romeo, where the fuck art thou Romeo?” An introduction to Internet Dating.

There are times in life, when we just can’t help asking ourselves ‘why’? Just like the little kid that drives its parents nuts with ‘why?’ after every adult statement or question I find myself in the shoes of the recalcitrant child… aged 27!

WHY? Why am I single? Why should I want to settle down? Why do so many relationships break down? Why are so many Londoners single? Why are so many of my friends suddenly waltzing up the aisle singing ‘going to the chapel’? Why am I not?

In many ways, I still feel way too young to settle down, there’s still so much fun to be had out there, why would I want to commit? But then there’s the nagging little tick of Mother Nature, calling me to find myself a mate. Funny how none seem forthcoming now I am suddenly coming round to the idea!

Now, I’m not a complete commitment-phobe. Truth be told, I was actually on course to settle down once and for all last year – there was even a dress on order – but true to the 20-something-London-stereotype, one eye wouldn’t quite stop roving and there was definitely a small part of me wondering if there might just be something better out there. Awful I know, but, in my defence, so was he!

Perhaps Disney and fairy tales have ruined me forever but I’m a hopeless romantic… and perhaps more than a little Latin in my approach to relationships. Combine that with an extreme feminist upbringing and I guess it could be a tad hard to find my ideal match. But, like all hardened optimists, I decided to take the bull, by the horns, so to speak, and explore what the world has on offer.

First port of call, the ubiquitous internet dating sites. Hours of entertainment ensued with setting up my profile. My brother’s advice: “approach it like a marketing exercise”. So there I was, late one evening, glass of wine in hand, pizza cooling in its chic brown cardboard box, writing a profile as if I were a bottle of shampoo getting ready to go to market… next, find a couple of photos that weren’t too drunken or overtly posed in mum’s garden and hit submit.

… Four hours later… 20 profile hits, three messages and my internet dating experience had started. Now I was in two minds whether to tell my friends about this latest foray but hey, the promise of hysterical laughter as I confessed, perfectly timed text messages when out on a date asking if I need rescuing and the odd call to make sure I got home OK and had a nice evening, far outweighed any feeling of self-consciousness I might have initially had. In fact, a couple even decided to come along for the ride and keep me company – which was brilliant fun until we realised that we were in touch with the same guys! Luckily we managed to share.

So two weeks, two thousand hits on my profile, two hundred and fifty messages and three dates later, forgive me for feeling a little jaded! If I have to sit and nod my way through one more dinner (who could have imagined that IP technology could be so riveting!) and then dodge the inimitable drunken lunge I think I might seriously pack my bags and run for the nearest convent. Why? This is not how I remember dating!

I knew one date wasn’t going to work the minute we met up. His opening gambit ran along the lines of ‘Look, I just got my US visa… Heading out there to work next week but don’t worry, I can take a partner with me!” One coffee later and I was running for the door screaming… I’m an internet dating virgin… get me outa here!

But I didn’t give up… There’s someone out there for everyone… isn’t there?

And then it happened. Date four: A really bad day at work - not the most auspicious beginning! A glass of champagne before the off to wash the day away, a foreboding sense of impending doom, (should I just cancel?) and off I go, like the nervous little kid on the first day of school, complete with pre-date spot and a minor clothes crisis. As I walk into the conveniently public bar there he is… my surprisingly tall, blonde, good-looking stranger! Two glasses of wine later and we are seated in a lively Japanese bar sharing plates of noodles, laughing at our chop stick skills and quaffing a nice bottle of Chilean Merlot (No comments on that combo, please.)

Refreshingly entertaining, charmingly easy to talk to, I found myself having to restrain Ali McBeal-esque twitches where I imagined clubbing him over the head and dragging him back to my apartment to have my wicked way with him. Was it him or was this the wine talking? Back to the pub and a ladylike retirement home (alone, I hasten to add, just in case it was the wine) and I couldn’t get this one out of my mind. Four hasty dates later and things still going strong… but he has to go back to Finland where he is based. Bummer!

But no, all is not lost! A continuous stream of text messages, phone calls and this one is a winner! One glorious visit to Finland later and I am about to break my own cardinal rule and start crowing! Matching pics on our phones, I’m wearing his clothes and I think my friends have started reaching for the sick bucket but I don’t care… cos I am smitten! We’ve even had the 'where shall we go from here?' conversation and after a little coaxing I have relinquished my late night companion, Mr Dating Site, in favour of late night chats and text messages with my blonde hunk. We have both agreed to stop logging in and I can’t quite believe my luck!

But the nagging little voice in my head suddenly pipes up with an incessant… ‘What if?’ It seems over the last few years, I might have developed some trust issues! So, having suspended my profile, I log in somewhat anonymously, and sneak a peek at his profile… and there it is… in big red letters: “Logged in in last two hours”

WHY?

Now being a big girl, I decide to be really upfront about this one and give him the benefit of the doubt. There are many reasons for logging in… no, really there are! It becomes a bit of a habit after a while… it’s kinda masochistic. You know the fridge is empty but you keep opening it anyway… just in case. There could be a hundred reasons why and I wouldn’t mind so much if he hadn’t been insistent on my not logging in any more… (No, I lie, I would… but my little bubble wouldn’t have been inflated quite so much and I wouldn’t be quite so disappointed).

So, with my heart in my mouth, I call him. (And at this point I have to ask myself WHY I care so much… perhaps fodder for another article or a shrink’s chair.) His explanation? He was checking he had cancelled his Direct Debit for the site… Perfectly plausible, I hear you all cry… and indeed it was. But it was last time… for yes, I forgot to mention… a month later and this is the second time. (Seems those insecurities might run deeper than first imagined!) I find myself asking ‘WHY?’ on so many levels…

And for the second time, I find myself feeling like that little kid at my first day of school, looking all around and wondering what the protocol is when it comes to internet dating.

Oh Romeo, Romeo, where the fuck art thou Romeo????